Shattered Silence - by Marianna Pieterse

https://Voice.club - “The storm’s picking up; I better go before the blizzard hits,” said Jackson. “Next time you want to watch a horror film, count me out!” He laughed and wiped his brow. Grabbing his coat and gloves, he walked outside, treading carefully. Kenny followed close on his heels.

“The air is standing still,” Jackson said and took a deep breath. “It’s too quiet.”

“I don’t like the look of those dark clouds,” said Kenny, pointing to the thick, grey clouds in the distance.

“Get back inside or you’ll catch a cold.” Jackson shivered, got into his car and drove off. The clouds moved in fast. The soft flurries of snow from moments ago were replaced by heavy snowfall. His heart raced.

Reaching the top of the hill, a car playfully swerved in the snow in front of him. His eyes widened. In the dim visibility, he saw the silhouette of the guy behind the wheel. “Is he mad?” he held his breath. It felt like the world paused with him, waiting for the inevitable to happen. A loud crash echoed. The now heavy snowfall made him disoriented. He rubbed his eyes to see better.

I need to help him, or he’ll be dead within minutes, he thought. Despite his better judgement, he pushed his door open against the strong wind, climbed out, and steadied himself. He walked carefully towards the crashed vehicle. Sickness overwhelmed him when he recognised his son’s car. His pace quickened.

No! He wanted to scream but couldn’t find his voice. Each breath inviting more cold air into his lungs. Forcing his way forward, he reached the driver’s door and yanked it open.

His son’s unconscious body lay motionless.

“He’s alive,” a sob escaped his lips. With an unknown strength, he lifted him on his shoulders and carried him back up the hill. Relief washed over Jackson as he lay Liam down on his car’s back seat. In a whirlwind of movement, he began to slide down the hill, picking up momentum… tumbling… trees approaching fast.

“Liam is safe.” His final thoughts comforted him. He closed his eyes.

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There’s nothing like being in the right place at the right time, but what a sad twist at the end. You captured Jackson’s determination to save Liam really well. I think Liam is going to go through some guilt when he discovers what happened. Nicely done.

Thanks Carrie, I am glad you liked it.

Marianna, I was a bit shocked by the ending. Having saved his son, he was going to perish. Nicely written and well read.

A solid dramatic story which like the snow builds up momentum and anxiety. The hero Jackson makes the final ultimate sacrifice emphasizing his love for his son. I must say that I was shocked by the final sentence!

Thanks so much, Julian! Much appreciated.

Thank you for listening to my story, Margarida. I read a post somewhere about people driving dangerously and ‘playing’ in the snow with their cars, and the dangers in doing so. I was hoping to bring that across in my story.

Wow! This proves the father’s greatest love and willingness to sacrifice his life to save his son/daughter. Such a heartbreaking piece.

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Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story and for commenting, Lotchie. I appreciate it!

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You’re most welcome. How are you, Marianna?

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I’m doing well, thank you for asking. How are you? I’ve been trying to be more consistent with my writing lately, and there is slight improvement. I’m trying to make time to write daily, which is quite a challenge, but these prompts help with ideas on what to write about when I cannot think of anything to write to get done with my novel. :sweat_smile:

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