Petals - by Greene Wills

https://Voice.club - We were quadruplets. We never knew when we were born, as time or space had no meaning where we existed.

My brothers and I loved each other fiercely, a love hotter than fire and colder than ice. We would have done everything and anything for each other at that stage. Those who came after us were not us but a badly drawn copy of our perfection, or so my brothers thought. Instead, I felt sorry and wondered why our Father came up with such products and started to study how I could have improved them.

My brothers advised me to let it be and not to cross Father, not to doubt him. After all, we needed to be grateful for our existence, for our perfection. Of the four of us, I was the curious one, the explorer, the one who always asked questions and sometimes made Father cross. That’s why I did it.

The moment I went downstairs and spoke to the multitude of my half-brothers, I immediately noticed the unhappiness of many. They questioned me, asked me to explain why Father was running the firm as an organisation rather than a family. I thought I could have done it differently and probably better.

I knew it would have been useless, but I went to speak to Father nonetheless. He was so furious and everybody heard him thundering against my dare. The more I asked for an explanation for his actions, the worse it became. Maybe I’m the one who is more similar to our sire and my frustration knew no limits. Perhaps that’s why, feverishly, I went to my younger, more impressionable half-brothers and we started our rebellion.

None of us can die, Father made sure of it, but today I feel like I could. I watch my wings turn black, I behold my brother’s face full of anger, regret and pity. Incongruously, I notice the white petals squashed under his boots. I hear the nightingales, while the pain devours me and the abyss looms.

ā€˜I’ll see you at Armageddon, Michael,’ I inform him, before I fall.

1 Like

@GreeneWills
Wow Greene, you’ve created an epic story of many levels. I wondered why you always capitalized ā€œFatherā€, until the very end, when the last line put everything in perspective. Michael, the archangel, who in legend has three brothers, all of whom are sons of the Father. What a creative and brilliant story!

Thank you Julie! It’s a relief someone liked it too as it’s one of my late favourites… You know, when a story really does it when you are writing it…

Hello Greene
At first I thought the four were the Horsemen, until I realized it is Lucifer’s story. Hearing his side made me feel compassion, as if a teenager raged against a parent…
Thank you for an engaging story.

Great story - had to read it twice to get the full meaning, very subtle and very satisfying!

I loved this Greene. The battle of the angels and the fall of lucifer, as his pride and desire for power see him cast out by God. You have captured it expertly in just 350 words

Thank you so much! Sympathy for the devil? I thought Milton more than Rolling Stones but that’s what I was aiming for and I’m so glad you got it and enjoyed!!

Thank you so much! So glad you liked it!

So the story goes…I mixed a bit of Prometheus into this teenaged, rebelling Lucifer who doubts and questions rather than dogmatise and accept. I’m happy you enjoyed it!

What a genius you are, Greene. You created a perfect epic story that is very engaging. I love it so much.

Lotchie you are so kind but I’m no genius, just someone with too much fantasy and trigger happy with words!

I happen also to believe in angels…